In this episode, we chat with Antje, Kelsey, and Sonia about overcoming people pleasing and learning how to say no. It's easy to want to keep everyone else happy, but we do so the expense of our own happiness. We agree to things we don't want to, out of fear that we will disappoint others, and the result is that we disappoint ourselves.
Some of the points and topics we cover include:
- Over-explaining ourselves
- Finding out who really supports our recovery
- Honoring ourselves by making our own decisions
- Choosing authenticity over meeting expectations
- Allowing others to say no to us, also
- Not apologizing unnecessarily
- Getting angry at ourselves for letting others walk all over us
- Fear of disappointing others (and then realizing that's their problem.)
- Start with easy conversations to practice for the hard ones
- Demonstrating to our kids and others that saying no is okay
- Learning to honor ourselves, our feelings, and our wants
- Learning to sit with discomfort
- Learning to avoid engaging in toxic conversations and behaviors
- Dealing with the consequences of saying yes when we didn't want to
- Pausing before responding to allow ourselves time to think
- Valuing our time enough to say no
Saying yes when we really want to say no leads to resentment.
As Kelsey says, "I was everything to everybody and nobody to myself." Recovery is a great time to take back your time and energy and use it in a way that honors ourselves!
Meet our guests:
Kelsey started a TikTok account to share her sober journey and inspire others. Since she started, she's gained 23,000 followers. You can find her at https://www.tiktok.com/@kelseygoessober and on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kelsey_sorensen_/
Sonia is the creator and owner of Ever Blume, a recovery resource that places members in small support groups based on their specific needs and situations. For more information, visit joineverblume.com or visit Sonia's Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/joineverblume/
Keep in touch!
throughtheglassrecovery@gmail.com
Instagram – @through_the_glass_recovery
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