E97: Navigating Romantic Relationships Sober

We're continuing to re-release our favorite episodes from Season 2 while we enjoy our summer break.

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In this Valentine's Day episode, we invite our guests to share their thoughts on love. We share what we've learned about love and how it affects our relationships in recovery. You'll hear from sober influencer Amber, Jared Blaine - host of the Blaklist Podcast, and sober influencer Jennifer, about how their understanding of love has changed as they've worked on healing and understanding themselves. Each of us walked away with a new understanding of love, and we know you will, too.

"I had this idea that love was giving all of yourself, no matter what."

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Sobriety allows us to show up in loving relationships in the way that others deserve.
• Understanding attachment theory and how it pertains to our relationships is helpful.
• Our upbringing models love to us, and creates our definition of love.
• Learning to embrace solitude when you're single
• Discovering and understanding emotional needs, and how to meet them.
• It is possible to be loved by someone, but not feel loved by them.
• Love is an action, and it requires constant practice.
• Loving someone from afar, or leaving in love, can both be healthy solutions.
• How codependency and love are interrelated.
• Conflict in love - what it looks like, and determining healthy vs. toxic relationships in recovery.

In this episode, we mention the following books and resources:

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Rewired by Erica Speigelman

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (Click the link to take a quiz and discover your own love language!)

If you loved this conversation and want to learn more about how our understand of love changes in recovery, be sure to check out this episode.

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For 15 years, Jared Blaine battled the grip of addiction, a relentless struggle that eventually led him into a perilous world intertwined with the Mexican cartel.
However, October of 2018 marked a turning point in Jared's life. Fueled by an unyielding determination to break free from the shackles of addiction, he embarked on a pathway to sobriety.

Jared's commitment to making a positive impact on the lives of those battling addiction and mental health issues led him to launch The Blaklist Podcast.

Through this platform, he shares stories of triumph, insights into recovery, and invaluable resources the guide individuals toward treatment, interventions, and sober living homes. As a fervent advocate for recovery and mental health, Jared strives to spread hope and positivity, one episode at a time.

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My name is Jennifer Gerroir, and you can find me on Instagram @dropkicksober. My sober date
is August 27, 2021. As a base brat I grew up all over Canada. My hubby and I are in the
Canadian Armed Forces and are currently stationed in Wainwright, AB. Our daughter graduates
high school this year and will be off to college in the fall.
I was well aware for years that my relationship with alcohol was problematic. After 32 years of
drinking I found my way to the sober community on Instagram. More and more sober content
began showing up in my newsfeed. As I viewed, I started to pull at the thread that should have
been ripped out years ago. I thank God each day for every person who has decided to recover out
loud (seriously, you saved my life).
For years I felt so much shame, self-hatred, and blame for not being able to manage to moderate.
I’m so incredibly grateful that I found the sober community when I did. Now that I know that
recovery is possible, I want to be sure to shine my own sober light for anyone who may be
struggling with their own relationship with alcohol. As a self proclaimed Bible nerd, I also share
a mix of Scripture along with my own recovery journey, other sober content, as well as anything
else that inspires me. Not every day in sobriety is magical, but even my ‘worst’ day sober far
outshines what I would have considered my ‘best’ day while I was still drinking. ODAAT, one
foot in front of the other.

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Hello, my name is Amber and I just recently celebrated 2 years alcohol free on Christmas Eve. I live alone with my cats in Rhode Island and work a FT and PT job, saving money, rebuilding my credit and learning how to live an honest and full life.

Growing up as an only child in a toxic family dynamic with alcoholism and undiagnosed mental health disorders running the show, I developed complex trauma that I wouldn’t be aware of until the day I took my last drink and began to uncover the lies that alcohol had me believing for so long. I lacked self love and self worth and believed I was just not built for the kind of life that I desired. Come to find out I had the power to build that life all along, but alcohol robbed me of the ability to see it. Sobriety has allowed me to see an alternative path in life and recovery is providing the tools that enable me to walk that path. I am in the process of finding my voice and discovering where I can be of service to others who are still stuck in the lie. I hope to someday run a sober living community on a working farm where others can unplug from their toxic environments and truly heal.

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